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1. Windows Solution
2. Blonde's Medical Dictionary
3. New Paint(Blonde Joke)
4. A little Microsoft bashing

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Windows Solution
There were three engineers in a car; an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer and a Microsoft Engineer. Suddenly the car stops running and they pull off to the side of the road wondering what could be wrong. The Electrical Engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occured. The Chemical Engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests may be the fuel is becoming emlsified and getting blocked somewhere. The Microsoft Engineer, not knowing much about anything, came up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows , get out, get back in, and open all the windows and see if it works?"

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Blonde's Medical Dictionary

Artery ­ Study of paintings

Bacteria ­ Backdoor to cafeteria

Barium ­ What to do when treatment fails

Bowel ­ Letter like A E I O or U

Ceasarean Section ­ District in Rome

Cat Scan ­ Searching for Kitty

Cauterize ­ Make eye contact with her

Colic ­ Sheep Dog

Coma ­ Punctuation Mark

Congenital ­ Friendly

D & C ­ Where Washington is

Dilate ­ To live long

Enema ­ Not a friend

Fester ­ Quicker

Genital ­ Non-Jewish

Hang Nail ­ Coat Hook

Impotent ­ Distinguished, well known

Labor pain ­ Hurt at work

Morbid ­ Higher offer

Nitrate ­ Cheeper than day

Node ­ Was aware of

Outpatient ­ Person fainted

Post op ­ Letter Carrier

Recovery Room ­ Place to apholster

Rectum ­ Dang near Killed Him

Rheumatic ­ Amorous

Secretion ­ Hiding something

Tablet ­ Small table

Terminal Illness ­ Sick at Airport

Tibia ­ Country in North Africa

Tumor ­ More than One

Urine ­ Opposite of "you're out"

Varicose ­ Nearby

Vein ­ Conceited

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New Paint
Did you hear about the new paint on the market?
It's called BLONDE... not too bright but spreads easily.

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A little Microsoft bashing
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX). Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the galoon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be diving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they re-painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95", "Car98", or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt.
9. The air bag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

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